By Shelby Lynn Neureuter
The holidays can be a time of love and connection and also a time of stress, tough memories, and emotional intensity. December can bring up challenges for Veterans like struggles with grief and loneliness, financial stress, missing the sense of community, dealing with memories of events from the past (like an “anniversary” date of a buddy’s death), and/or sensory overload from busy gatherings. This can also cause stress among their loved ones.
Here are a few tips to help support you and your Veteran this season:
1. Protect Your Personal Space
Crowded holiday events can feel very overwhelming. It’s okay to step outside and take a breath, or to set a time limit on gatherings. You don’t need to “power through” or “fake it” for others’ sake. Your peace is a top priority.
It is important to focus on progress over perfection this holiday season, and one way to do that is to set realistic boundaries and expectations for both you and your Veteran. Follow their lead and honor their decisions about participating in holiday activities without guilt or pressure.
2. Encourage (Re)connection
Some Veterans might miss the structure and community of service life. If you notice your Veteran withdrawing or acting differently than usual, suggest they reach out to at least one person this month. It could be that their buddies from their old unit might want a call. It doesn’t have to be a long or heavy conversation. A quick call with someone who has been there may light up the week (for everyone)!
A simple “Hey, I’m calling to check in. How has your week been?” can help more than you know.
3. Use the Tools in Your Personal “Rucksack”
Some simple but powerful tools to have stored away are deep breathing, grounding exercises, journaling, or a quiet morning walk. Try to prioritize these options as a daily treat for yourself and your loved one during the holiday season.
4. Keep Your Routine Steady
Sleep, nutrition, hydration, and movement are the foundations for a healthy mind and body. Keeping these habits consistent can keep you or your loved one’s stress levels from rising.
5. Give Yourself Permission to Feel… Whatever You May Feel
The holidays can bring up joy, grief, nostalgia, pride, anxiety—sometimes all in one day… Understand that you have feelings just like your Veteran. Give yourself time to acknowledge any and all emotions you may feel. Taking care of yourself lets you take care of your loved ones. It’s okay to feel vulnerable.
6. Support is Always a Click or Call Away
Remember that there are resources for you and your Veteran if the stress feels too much.
- Get more resources from WAV at worriedaboutaveteran.org/getting-help
- For peer support call 844-255-2928 (844-CLL-2WAV)
- If you need immediate help, call 988 (Press 1 for the Veterans Crisis Line) or text 838255
Whether you are struggling with the weight of the season or just need a kind voice or listening ear — it’s important to know that you are not alone and there are people out there that can help.
We at WAV wish you a safe and connected holiday season!
